Feels Like Home
by waiting-for-you443
Summary: Just a little scene idea that popped into my head this morning. Based off a scene from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.


Sousuke's eyes were a dark with worry and anger. He held me tightly, as if letting me go then meant letting me go forever. And maybe that's what he thought, after everything that had happened since we boarded the Tuatha de Danaan. I tried to look somewhere else—anywhere else but those angry, deep eyes—but I was trapped by them. They held my gaze, paralyzing me. The silence between us was starting to make me uncomfortable—or maybe it was his eyes, after all—but Sousuke spoke before I could.

"Don't _ever_ do that again," he demanded, half pleading. His voice was low and dark. It sent shivers down my spine.

"What are you—"

"Don't _ever_ jump in the way of a bullet again. My job is to protect you, not the other way around. I could have taken that shot. It wouldn't have been a problem for me. But if that bullet had actually _hit_ you—" his voice dropped off, and he almost sounded like he was going to cry. But that was silly, because if I knew one thing, it was that Sousuke Sagara didn't cry. But then, he was shaking, his eyes suddenly squeezed shut. I reached my hand up and cupped his cheek, using my fingertips to massage his jaw a little. He was clenching his teeth so hard, I was afraid they might break. He opened his eyes and looked into mine again.

"Is this because you're afraid?" I asked. He looked away from me. That's when my temper got the best of me. I took a step back, out of his grip. "What, you think I can't take care of myself? You think I'm weak? Because I'm not. Are you scared that I'm just too fragile—"

"I'm afraid of _losing_ you, Kaname! That shit you just pulled scared me because I thought you were going to get hurt. I thought you might even _die_. And that would have killed me!" He was picking up momentum now, his voice raising a little more with every line. "Do you seriously think that I stuck around to protect you after Guaren died because of orders? Guess what? You aren't my mission anymore." His last line surprised me.

"What? Then why…why are you still around?" I asked quietly, suddenly having trouble finding my voice. He turned those sharp gray eyes back on me now, throwing everything to the wind.

"Because I want to be around you. Because _I _want to protect you. Because I lo—" he cut off, internally chastising himself. I stepped closer.

"Because you, what?" I asked gently, reaching up and placing a hand on his neck. He had averted his eyes again.

"No—nothing," he stuttered, not daring to look at me. I moved a little closer, and our chests were touching. He stiffened a little, but didn't move away from me. I saw his hands twitch, almost to grab my waist, but he locked them at his sides, his hands closed into tight fists.

"Try again," I said, much quieter this time. At this point, his face was bright red, and I could tell our proximity was starting to effect him. I placed my other hand on the back of his head, bringing us closer together.

"Because I would get in a lot of trouble if you died because of me." His voice was getting a little huskier now, and his hands had moved to my hips. He was holding an internal debate about whether to push me away or pull me closer. The hand on his neck slid past him, and I rested my elbow on his shoulder. Our faces were inches apart now. He moved his gaze to my lips while I kept mine on his eyes.

"The truth this time." He let out a shaky breath.

"Because I love you." He closed the distance between us, his lips feathering over my own. He was hesitant, as if asking my permission, but expecting to get hit instead. In answer, I stood on my toes and pulled his head down a little farther. Taking my hint, he deepened the kiss. My eyes fluttered closed and I lost myself. How many days had I spent with this boy—no, this man—waiting for the right opportunity to confess my own feelings? How long had I longed to hear him utter those three little words, even if I never admitted it even to myself? The kiss became less gentle and more passionate—on both ends—as if we just couldn't get close enough. I slipped my hands under his military jacket, sliding it off his broad shoulders. It fell to the floor at our feet, and I moved to un-tuck his shirt from his pants. His own hands hand been massaging my hips, his thumbs sliding under the hem of my blouse. He unbuttoned it slowly, as if still waiting to take my boot to the face, but not quite caring. The shirt slid to the floor.

We broke apart, and Sousuke looked deep into my eyes. I smiled.

"I love you, too." I whispered, putting my forehead against his. He gave me one of his rare smiles and rubbed our foreheads together.

Every girl has a fantasy about how their first time will be, even if they won't admit it. Now, this may not have been mine, but the moment just felt right. I lifted my arms above my head, looking shyly up at Sousuke. His eyes widened for a minute, surprised by my action, as his hands twitched toward my shirt. He hesitated.

"Are you sure?" he breathed, searching my eyes for any hint of regret or second thoughts. "This is something you'll never get back." It was strange to hear him speak to softly, with so much concern. Normally he spoke professionally, not allowing himself any emotion. I liked this side of him.

"I'm 100 percent sure," I answered with a wide smile. He moved his hands back to my hips, lightly taking the hem of my tank top. His palms slid over my sides then arms as he lifted the shirt over my head. He dropped it on the floor and lifted his own arms. I giggled as I did the same to him, feeling him shiver under my touch. He leaned down to kiss me again as my hands reached for his belt. As we undressed, we shifted back, falling onto his bed.

I wasn't aware of just how gentle this man could be. Normally he was all business, rough when it came down to protecting my life. But not then. He was soft and kind in his words and actions. He went slow, ever aware of my inexperienced body. He didn't hurt me, not once. It was all ghost touches and soft whispers.

Later on—my back against his chest, him propped up against the wall—we talked. He told me about his childhood, growing up in Helmajistan, coming to Mithril—funny and sad times. He told me about his late nights talking with Kurtz, how it felt piloting Arbelest, even about old romances that never went anywhere.

I told him about my family, my friends, and all the fun times we shared before he came along. I told him about old boyfriends and how stupid I must have been to have ever trusted any of them. I told him my favorite color, my favorite movie, my favorite song. I bared my soul, and he bared his, and we stayed like that until I fell asleep. When I awoke much later, he was gone, but he had left a note.

_Kaname—_

_I had to go back to work, but I'll see you when you wake. You must be hungry—the kitchen staff will be happy to get you something. I love you._

_Sousuke_

The "I love you" seemed like a last minute addition, as if he wasn't sure whether or not to really write it. But I was glad he did. It made everything from the night before so much better, trusting that he really did feel that way. I reached for the sky, stretching my loose muscles, and collected my clothing. I peeked through the peephole in the door before cracking it open, looking both ways, and walking as normally as possible to my room down the hall. I'd almost made it when I heard a soft chuckle and came face to face with Melissa. I narrowed my eyes, opening my mouth, _daring_ her to say something, but she put up a hand and smiled.

"I'm not gonna rat you out, kid. I've been where you are." She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Treat our Sousuke right, deal?" I gave her an embarrassed smile and nodded, not being able to find any words. I showered, changed, and wandered into the kitchen. One of the staff—a young man—smiled at me and put a bowl of cereal in front of me. I ate as slow as possible, though I was famished, and set the bowl in the sink. Walking back into the hall, I wandered the Tuatha a little before running into Kurtz. He gave me a knowing smile before saying, "He's in the hold, working on Arbelest." I stuttered a thank you before heading in that direction. Sousuke was alone when I walked in.

"Hey," I greeted softly, announcing my presence. He turned around and smiled at me.

"Hi." He raised himself from his chair and stepped forward to meet me. My hands went up to his shoulders, and his to my waist. It was natural, almost like they belonged there. He bent his head to mine, nuzzling my forehead. "Does it hurt anywhere?"

"No, I'm fine," I muttered, moving my face to the crook of his neck. He kissed my temple before walking back to the desk he had been working at. My heart was full of warmth and light, which began to well up in my eyes and slide down my cheeks. My sharp intake of breath got Sousuke's attention and he was right at my side again, worry filling his eyes.

"I thought you said it didn't hurt. I'm sorry, Kaname." Soft apologies fell from his lips, but I shook my head.

"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong," I said, trying to stop my tears. I felt like a child, sitting there with both my hands wiping my eyes and his hands on my shoulders.

"Then why are you crying?" Sousuke asked, confusion entering his voice.

"I'm—I'm just s—so _happy_. I'm happy that you love me, because I love you, and to be honest, I was a little scared that maybe you didn't really love me and that when you said it in your note, you were saying it because you felt _obligated_ to." He opened his mouth to defend himself, but I cut him off. "But right there—what just happened—you didn't have to say anything. Just the way you handled me was enough to convey how you felt. And it just made me so happy. Happy that you didn't feel like last night was a mistake, and that you aren't a liar." I took a deep breath. "And happy that it got to be you."

Sousuke reached a hand up and used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. "You don't have to worry, Kaname," he said, his voice going back to its military tone just a tad, "because I would never lie to you. And because," his voice lowered, "you make me happy, too."

There are moments in life when light surrounds you, and all of your hurts are suddenly healed. Everything is right with the world, and you feel like nothing will ever be sad or disappointing or rotten again. After that day, I began having those moments much more frequently, and I definitely got used to it.

* * *

**Alright, guys. I bought the first three DVDs for Full Metal Panic and remembered why I love the show so much. Now, this is the first time I've written anything even remotely close to this, so don't go to hard on me. This idea came to me as I was waking up this morning, and has been eating at me until just now, when I wrote it. Also, I don't know what Kaname and Sousuke are doing on the Tuatha de Danaan or why she took a bullet or what. I just kind of put that there to lead into the scene I wanted to write. Ah well, I think it turned out pretty okay, especially for someone who has absolutely no experience with this kind of thing. And yes, Sousuke and Kaname are out of character, but I really think that maybe they would be like that in this kind of situation. I think Sousuke might drop his military thing just a little bit if this were to ever happen. Oh, and this is a FAN FICTION, so I'm never gonna get their personalities perfect. Oh well, I hope you guys liked it, because I'm pretty proud of it.**

**By the way, this is based off a scene from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which is an awesome movie and I suggest you go watch it. The song is Feels Like Home by Chantel Kreviazuk and I also suggest you listen to it while you read. It adds so much to the story. :)**


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